The other day I was lying on the leather couch in my living room recovering from some major surgery when it occurred to me that being fictional would have a lot of advantages. By chapter two I’d be over my life threatening illness and the woman of my dreams would be lying on the couch beside me kissing it all better. Instead my two cats, Marmalade and Jam Butty, are sitting by the couch with grumpy faces. It appears I’m late getting their dinner. They are not happy having an ill human. It is interfering with what they feel is the care and pampering they deserve. Only the other day I found them going through the Classifies looking for a more reliable human. They insisted they were just reading the personals. You know, Miss Pussy loves cream and taking long night walks. Looking for a real rat to play with.
Fiction would be so much better. Take the leather couch. In books, leather shows up often as a sensuous medium for those special moments. In fiction it’s sexy as all hell. In reality place passionate naked bodies on a leather couch and as soon as someone moves the rudest noises erupt from the leather. Yelling out, it wasn’t me! somehow ruins the mood.
In fiction, you never accidentally smash your partner’s nose when coming in for a kiss or have to pee just when the mood is getting exciting. Yes, there’s a lot to be said for being fictional. All the goofy, embarrassing and annoying issues of life are left behind. You never age and your few mistakes are minor and only to show you are human. Everything you do and say has meaning and enhances the plot. No more dreary everyday existence or boring conversations with people you’d really rather not know. Yes, being fictional would have lots of advantages because in good writing a plot is crafted to form a neat, complete package. The difference between writing and writing well is the ability not to ramble on randomly like life but to distill the quality of life into one powerful shot. It’s not how much you write but how well you write. As a teacher I had once said, if you can’t say it briefly it’s probably an idea that is not well thought out.
But wait! The major down side to being fictional is the loss of free will. If I was fictional, I’d have to do what the author wanted. Good authors craft a story as a potter forms the clay into a vase. Beautiful, yes, but planned and executed with thought, talent and care. No, I think I’m happy enough with the freedom of real life despite its randomness, illogic and ups and downs. I’ll just have to kiss the woman of my dreams good bye and get on with feeding the cats.
Anne Azel’s Award Winning Novels:
Encounters, Seasons, Three Doses of Murder, Murder in Triplicate, Gold Mountain, Iron Rose Bleeding, The Little Book of Big Christmas Stories, Journeys, America, Tides and coming soon the Dark Matter Corps
You can contact Anne at email@example.com